Marriage

Please call the parish office (979) 233-5271

REGISTRATION TO ATTEND PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE in the CATHOLIC CHURCH
TO BE CELEBRATED IN ENGLISH

To Our Engaged Couples:
Our parish warmly welcomes you and we shall give you all the needed support as you begin to plan your wedding and your future life together. Know that every Catholic has the right to celebrate marriage at any Catholic parish in the world. And ordinarily, a couple prepares for marriage in the parish in which the bride or groom lives and worships. The duration for marriage preps is six months to nine months and it should be started before the desired wedding date. If you are coming to us from another parish, we will work with you to see that you are prepared at the right place and time. If either you or your spouse have been previously married without an annulment, it is a prior bond, you are invited to make an appointment to discuss the situation with a priest or deacon at your first meeting.
Please fill out the registration form, our clergy will be glad to help you if you need assistance. You may also check with our parish secretary to schedule an appointment.
Your wedding date will be scheduled on our parish calendar after the following three criteria are completed:
1. Have had your initial meeting with a priest or deacon.
2. Attended all required marriage preparation sessions.
3. Turned in all required paperwork.
On behalf of our pastor, Fr. Sebastine Okoye, and all the families here at St. Mary Star of the Sea,
we congratulate you as you approach this special time in your lives and invite you to continue to
worship with us at Sunday Mass each week. Please contact the parish office with any questions.

Welcome to Pre-Marriage Preparation. We are delighted that you have registered for the program and look forward to helping you prepare for the Sacrament of Matrimony.
We invite you to first make an appointment to speak with our pastor or deacon that we may get to know you and your needs. You will have to check with the pastor’s secretary to schedule an appointment. Please, fill out the registration form which will help us to assist you on this wonderful journey you are taking. If you have any problem filling it out, take it with you to the office and the pastor’s secretary can assist you. 
Couples in which their spouse has been married before has a prior bond, you are invited to discuss this with the priest or deacon at your first meeting with any one of them.
The following three requirements must have been completed before your wedding date is scheduled on the parish calendar:
1.            Initial meeting with the pastor
2.            Participated in all the required marriage preparation sessions.
3.            Submitted all required paperwork.
Please, take a moment to ponder through the following important questions that you will need to ask yourself:
• How seriously have I taken my faith and religion?
• Have I nourished myself in faith by reception of all the sacraments? Or are there any one of them I need to make?
Baptism, Reconciliation, Holy Eucharist, Confirmation.
If you have not celebrated the sacraments listed above, and would like to, please refer to the following programs listed below:
The Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults, (R.C.I.A).This is the sacrament preparation class those unbaptized individuals, individuals baptized in another faith, or for adults who were baptized Catholic but never celebrated any other sacraments go through before receiving the sacraments.
 For more information on the RCIA, please contact Parish office at 979-233-5271 you can also email [email protected]

Class Session/ Table of Contents  
Twelve months before your proposed wedding date, you should contact the parish office to schedule a meeting with St. Mary’s Marriage Preparation coordinator to discuss any requirements needed to complete your journey towards marriage. 
Marriage preparation at St. Mary’s Star of the Sea is between six to nine months marriage preparation course.
Couple registering for marriage preparation at St. Mary Star of the Sea should reside within the parish boundaries or be a registered member of the parish. Couples from outside the boundaries may be charged more for preparation /church fees.

Required Documentation.
1.            A prenuptial questionnaire will be completed by prospective bride and groom.
2.            Baptism Certificates no older than six months with annotations for each person.
3.            Two witness affidavit questionnaires for each person will need to be completed and witnessed by the marriage preparation coordinator.
4.            Annulments will have to be completed or dispensed if any person(s) has been previously married.  
5.            Engaged Encounter
6.            Sponsor Couple
7.            Weekend Retreat. (Available dates can be found at archgh.org Home - Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston (archgh.org) Offices & Ministries Family Life website.
8.     Schedule a meeting with the Pastor to discuss possible marriage dates following the first one month of class.
The Office of family Life Ministry encourages all couples to take adequate time in preparing for marriage.

Marriage Preparation Classes
(First one month)
1.            Welcome Night/Prenuptial Questionnaire: formal introductions and orientation
2.            Focus Testing: the deacon/marriage prep instructor will tabulate the results and discuss it with the couple during the next meeting.
(Second month)
3.            Family Origin/Cultures and Tradition:
4.            Theology of Marriage
(Third month)
5.            Communication Skills/Confliction Resolution
6.            Finance:
(Fourth Month)
7.            Free to Mary Witness Affidavits:
8.            Sacramentality of Christian Marriage
(Fifth Month)
9.            Building Your Spirituality.
10.         Intimacy/Sexuality, and Natural Family Planning:
(Sixth Month)
11.         Summary/Questions and Answers
(Seventh Month)
12. The Holy Eucharist
The class sessions are mandatory for each couple. If you missed either in the case of emergency or otherwise, the couple is required to arrange with the marriage instructor to make up for it otherwise, they will wait for the next session (s) either in Fall or Spring.
Main resource books: For Better and For Ever, Together For Life, Transformed in Love

Check List: At least 12 months prior to wedding.
1.            Contact Parish Office to register for Pre-Marriage Preparation
2.            Contact Parish Office and schedule a prenuptial interview with deacon/priest
3.            Take FOCCUS marriage evaluation questionnaire and review results with Deacon. (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study), is a self-diagnostics inventory designed to help couples learn more about themselves and their unique relationship. Testing lasts for one hour and Sessions: 3-5 (depending on your score)
4.            Turn in Sacrament records (Baptism Certificate, Eucharist, and Confirmation)
5.            Attend Pre-Marriage Preparation sessions
6.            Bride and Groom need two witnesses each for affidavit of free to Marry Status
7.            Request a meeting with Pastor, to discuss possible wedding dates.
8.            Contact the Musician (parish choir) who will provide music for the wedding ceremony.
9.            Discuss Liturgy with Deacon/marriage prep instructor and select scripture readings from Together For Life book.
10.         Contact the parish wedding coordinator to discuss the wedding plans

Qualifications for Marriage
• According to the teaching of Jesus Christ, marriage is a union and love that is permanent and indissoluble.
• Every Christian who marries is bound by this teaching. Any marriage contracted by a Christian in light of baptism is presumed to be a permanent and indissoluble marriage. If you have been previously married, then your previous marriage would need to be dispensed or annulled before you can enter the pre-marriage preparation program.
• Parish Residence or Registration: For you to receive preparation for your future marriage at St Mary Star of the Sea, either the bride or the groom must reside within the parish boundaries and /or be a member of the parish.
• Both partners with conviction should actively participate in the Catholic Faith, attend Mass every Sunday, participate in the sacraments of the Church, and should view marriage as an integral part of the sacramental life of the Church.
The church’s role as well as the primary task of clergy and other in marriage preparation is to assist the couple in making a judgment about their relational readiness and personal faith, not to make those judgments for or about them.” (USCC Manual, page 63)
Required Documents:
Catholics must present to the Priest/deacon a copy of their baptismal certificate that has been issued within six months to the wedding date. It can be obtained by requesting it via email, mail, or in writing, from the parish where the person was baptized. Failure to present the certificate may terminate the wedding plans.
A baptized non-Catholic must present a certificate or letter from the church of their baptism.
Marriage license must be presented to the priest/deacon before the marriage ceremony can take place. The State of Texas sanctions ministers to perform ceremonies only when the document is acquired and presented. Failure to submit the license at the time or rehearsal risks the cancellation of the ceremony.
Where to obtain a marriage license:
At the Joyce Hudman County Clerk, Brazoria County. 111 E. Locust STE 200 Angleton, Texas 77515.

Some Important Questions To Ask Before You Get Married
 1. What are your long-term financial goals?
As you are thinking about getting married, you may want to know what the long-term financial goals are you both have. You have probably already had a few money conversations with each other. But you may want to know what each other’s student loan or credit card debt is, how much you each pay for your car, and things like that, but one thing you should talk about before you tie the knot is what For example, if you want to save enough money for a down payment on a house but your partner is planning on allocating their money toward a different goal like paying off their debt first, you will want to know that before you get married. It is very important to know how, if at all, you can support each other.
 2. Do you see yourself with kids in the future?
“The institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring.” Children are the perfect gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves. If the topic of children hasn’t come up yet in your relationship and you’re considering marriage, don’t wait any longer to bring it up. Talk to your partner about whether you want children and if so, when, and how many. And if you already have a child or children from a previous marriage or relationship you need to own up. However, if you both want children, it is also important that you consider when and what happens if you have trouble conceiving a child—will you consider IVF or adoption? As hard as this conversation appears because it is something you can not necessarily plan for right away, but the sooner the better.
3. In what ways do we need to receive and show each other love?
It takes two to tangle for any relationship to work, and if you plan on getting married, you are committing to a lifetime of it, so you want to make sure you’re equipped with all the knowledge you need to have a successful marriage with your partner. This means that you need to know how to show them love in the ways that they need to receive it and vice versa. The lifesaver in your marriage life will be to know your partner’s love language (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Shared Experiences, or Emotional Security). Knowing how someone shows and receives love can make all the difference in your relationship and can help you understand and better support one another. Be open to communicate with each other about your intimate needs, not being afraid to spice things up when necessary, and carving out the appropriate amount of time for sex that works for you both. Having this figured out and practicing showing each other love in your own ways can strengthen your relationship way before you walk down the altar.
4. What do you think is the best way for us to handle conflict and resolution?
Everyone has their own style of handling disagreements. Some people like to have some space to think before they react and decide how they are really feeling, and some people like to hash everything out with their partner right then and there. Ask your partner what they need in the case of an argument and tell them what you need as well. This can help you work as a team instead of butting heads in the heat of an argument. The power of communication is of outmost importance in marriage.
How do you know when your partner is upset?
What does your partner do when they know you are upset?
Does your partner tell you when they have an issue with you?
Does your partner tell you when they are stressed?
What does your partner do to make you smile?
Has there ever been something you didn't want to tell your partner?
Do you ever fear your partner will judge you?
Does your partner ever keep secrets from you?
Do you have any trust issues when it comes to your partner?
What do you and your partner typically argue about?
What happens after you and your partner argue?
Do you and your partner ever have issues apologizing?

 5. How important is your Christian faith and religion?
The practice of your Christian faith is vital in your marriage life. How about weekend Masses and other days of obligation? You must also consider how you will celebrate religious holidays.
If both of you are from different religious backgrounds, is each going to pursue his or her own religious affiliation? Will the children be raised in the Catholic faith?

6. What is your expectation for how much time we spend with both sides of our families?
If you and your partner present a united front, you are most likely not going to have a bad relationship with your in-laws. Both spouses must be willing to address the issue with his or her parents because failure to do so can bode very poorly for the long-term health of the relationship. In as much as you are not to kick your biological family out of your life, whether you live close to them or not, merging family schedules once you get married can become a full-time job if you’re not careful. To prevent this from happening, have an honest conversation with your partner about expectations, and boundaries.
How often do you want to see your family? How should we split holidays?
If we have family events on the same day, do we split up or pick one?
How can we build our own traditions instead of always divvying out holidays between our families’ houses?
 7. Do you have any personal history that I should know about?
It may seem like an awkward question to ask, but trust, you’re going to want to ask and give them the opportunity to share anything they might have been embarrassed, nervous, scared, or worried about telling you before. And even to enter a discussion about your end-of-life wishes just as you are embarking on the start of a new life together can be gruesome. But your partner will likely be left to make medical decisions on your behalf if you cannot make these decisions on your own and it is crucial that you discuss your preferences before facing an emergency. “A power of attorney/advance directive should be signed as soon as possible. What health problems run in your family? Make sure to ask about cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and Alzheimer’s disease. When you ask this question, make sure you communicate gently and state that you’re not accusing them of not telling you important details about their life, but you are just simply wondering if there is anything you need to know in a no-judgment zone.

Questions for Discussion
Brides and grooms divide into separate groups for about a half an hour of discussion on these and other topics as desired. Remember that a wedding is something we do in a day. Marriage is continuous throughout the couple’s lifetime. Considering what you have learned so far:
1. What does Catholic marriage mean to you? Look at a copy of the wedding vows. You are asked to
memorize them and pray with them, what do these vows mean to you?
2. What does it mean to you that our role as a husband or wife is to help our spouse get to heaven?
3. What are some of the challenges you think you will face in the months and years to come?
4. What are you willing to do to improve yourself so that you can be a good partner in marriage? “The best thing I can give you is a good me.”